In This Life

it's so funny how life changes
and how things work out in a single moment
and it's funny how so many things do not matter
and i question: will they ever?

life is full of trivial words, people, and such
most of it will vanish and not mean very much
and the situations that we are meant to hold close and near
we let go without dropping a tear

fear

embraces us, making us follow through
with actions that we shouldn't have to do
and yet we live our life, thinking it's being lived right
following our perfect plan all day and night

but we do not question what we have inside
that thing that keeps us breathing in time with the tide
and we do not seem to dare to dream
to imagine more possibilities than what there seems

no we must be, you and i, bound in this little box called "life"
and the stuff outside of this world? oh, that, well never mind
for it is of insignificance
money, power, lust and pain that is of importance

but what about me? my life, my choice to choose
how can i survive when i always lose?
i do not want to exist in a world that doesn't care for my existence
and i do not want to be scorned for my driving persistence
to find answers to the questions that i ask
the questions that tend to make people mad

because i refuse to live a simple and shallow life
but a life with meaning and dreams and hope...
one i chose over the "real" world a long time ago
i do not want to follow these rules
where i say "i don't know, society tell me what i should do"

because in this life, things will change
and it's funny how it happens in a single moment
and it's funny how so many things do not mtter
the people who've hurt me, old friends and lovers
and i question: will they ever?
life is full of trivial words, people, and such
most of it will vanish and not mean very much

and the weight will fade and the scars will heal
then we can face the day and see what is real
because besides this face, this skin, these lips and eyes
my body and the well-rounded thighs
there is more to this being
and there is more to being

but how can we know when are souls are bleeding?

how can we see when we are frightened
by the choice to choose
and we give up what we want and soon after lose
how can we breathe
when the world is stifling?
how can we be
when we aren't existing?

okay, real job, grand house, nice car, and bills
but there's a space in my soul that yearns to be filled
there's a hole in my soul that needs to be filled
there's a space in my heart that has to be...
that needs to be...filled

because

it's so funny how life changes
and how things work out in a single moment
and it's funny how so many things do not matter
and i question: will they ever?
life is full of trivial words, people, and such
most of it will vanish and not mean very much

some days will hurt and some scars are deep
but it's nothing to keep us off our feet
so when the money is gone, the pain, the power
what will be left? a withering flower?
or will there be, in the sunshine so sweet
a perfect rainbow waiting for me?

in this life things will change
in this life
things work out in a single moment
in this life
so many things do not matter
and i question: will they ever?

this life
is full of trivial words, people, and such
in this life
most of it will vanish and not mean very much
except of course
what you did in this life when coming to shore.

11-24-2008

*I wrote this poem off the top of my head honestly, I really cannot explain the thought process behind it because the inspiration came to me instantly. Basically, it is my thoughts on my life and how I see the world. Lately I have been feeling as though I have let things almost control me, my thoughts and moods---whether it is people, circumstances, etc. And, it hit me a couple of days ago how funny it all is because eventually the drama and things that seem to matter, don't.

It's still a little funny to me, I guess because once we die...none of "this" will really make a difference, except how we lived. So, once I came to that conclusion I continued my lifelong search so far in trying to figure out what is the best way for me to live my life and what my purpose is. I have found that the best way is to just be myself and never apologize for it, and slowly I know I will come to terms on how to make a difference and learn what my role in this world is to be.

Hope whoever reads likes the poem. Comments are always welcome.*

With You

With you a kiss is not just a kiss
It is a moment several lover's miss
With you a gaze is not just a gaze
But a secret message being sent my way
With you a touch is not only a touch
But a caress from your soul saying how you love me so much
With you words are not words
Most go unspoken, but so loudly they are heard
With you a smile is not an expression
It is a surrender, a tender and sweet confession
With you a tear is not a cry
It is a testimony escaping your eye
With you love is not love
It is only a step closer to the heavens above
With you a promise is not just a promise
It is an everlasting seal that bonds us for
Ever
And ever more
But with you, that is all I can ask for
All that I can dream
And all that I can have
I stand with you and never look back
Or towards the future, or what lies in between
With you, all is like a dream
More beautiful and enchanting than what life may seem
But it is only because I share it, my life, with you
And I do not want to be anywhere else than where i am now
Standing proud
Standing here
Right here
With you.

1-10-2009


*If it is not already painfully obvious, I wrote this poem for the man that is now in my life. I debated for a while whether I should post this poem for anyone else to see, but after asking for my boyfriend's consent I did not feel so weird about it. I suppose in a way I am proud of the poem, because I am proud of him (and proud to be with him). I have never met one person who can possess so many beautiful qualities that are strong and genuine in one soul. It is an honor to be with him and an even greater pleasure to love him.

I wrote this poem a few days ago, but since I cannot remember the exact date, I wrote down what was almost accurate. I am not looking for critiques, because honestly with this poem they do not matter to me. I guess I wanted to share how I feel about someone through my writing for once when I hardly ever do so. Needless to say, my boyfriend loved the poem and his reaction really is all that mattered to me. I'm glad he didn't mind if I share this with others. So I hope whoever reads this enjoys it and can relate...or find that it gives them something to look forward to in their relationships.*