Maybe I Want

So I have met different men
Some of them my enemy and some of them my friend
But many lessons were learned in the end
I have never been loved is what I realized then.

Oh sure I have heard the words
For they are easy to speak
I have been given gifts that seemed more like charity
And I have been kissed, held, and caressed
But how does that prove love at its sacred best?

These men who said and did these things are not bad people
They are good in their own way, but...not quite my equal.
No, for I was always held in a place I did not want to be
I was on a pedestal and redeemed as "unique"
Maybe all I wanted was to be seen just for me...
Maybe I want a man who can stand beside me.

I never did think much about this, but I do now
I think about what would make a man stand out from the crowd
So that I am drawn in and know that he is for real
And it will be safe for me to feel what I feel

I have felt many things from past relationships
I have experienced many emotions, but I am tired of it
I am tired of the games, the lies, the immaturity
Maybe I want a man who can truly lead
Maybe I want so many different things

Maybe I want to be in love in the true and whole sense
Maybe I want to love and forget the consequence
Maybe I want to feel all there is feel
Maybe I want something that doesn't seem real...

Maybe I want...oh, I don't know...
Something that shakes me to my core
Maybe I want that type of love people spend their whole life
Searching and waiting for
Maybe I want something that does not exist...
Maybe...but I cannot stop longing for this

Maybe I want to be with someone who makes me laugh
Maybe I want someone who will hold me when I feel sad
Maybe I want someone who shows that they care
Maybe I want someone who I know will always be there.

Maybe I want someone who is open and lets me in their world
Maybe I want a man who wants the woman, and not the little girl
Maybe I want the reflection of me
The same spirit and kindness that is plain to see

Maybe I want to grow and be able to share myself
Maybe I want to meet a man who makes me not want anyone else
Maybe I want love that is patient, kind, and true
Maybe I want the love that says, "I am glad I found you."

Maybe I want to feel connected
Maybe I want to be in love where I cannot second guess it
Maybe I want to see only the future, he and I...
Maybe I want to hold him and tell my past, "Good-bye".

Maybe I want the man who fights to have me
The same man who always fights to keep me
Maybe I want a man who would be honored to be with me
Maybe I want a man who would feel hollow if he lost me...

Maybe I want a man who will love me forever and ever
And ever and ever
And ever promise
To never
Let the feeling fade...
Maybe I want a man who will cherish me most, and not let us slip away...

Maybe I want the unthinkable dream...
Maybe I want something that makes me demanding...
But, it is not what it seems
Maybe I just want what I need.

Maybe I want to be wanted by somebody
Maybe I want to be loved by somebody.
Maybe I want someone to knock me off my feet
Maybe I want someone who inspires me.

Maybe I want someone who brings out my best
Maybe I want...to finally be impressed.

Maybe I am tired of always being wrong
Maybe I want the right man to finally come along
Maybe I want to give all that I have to give
Maybe I want to promise to love and never lie, mislead, or deceive

Maybe, just maybe...I want a man to love me.

~ede
2-27-2009