In This Life

it's so funny how life changes
and how things work out in a single moment
and it's funny how so many things do not matter
and i question: will they ever?

life is full of trivial words, people, and such
most of it will vanish and not mean very much
and the situations that we are meant to hold close and near
we let go without dropping a tear

fear

embraces us, making us follow through
with actions that we shouldn't have to do
and yet we live our life, thinking it's being lived right
following our perfect plan all day and night

but we do not question what we have inside
that thing that keeps us breathing in time with the tide
and we do not seem to dare to dream
to imagine more possibilities than what there seems

no we must be, you and i, bound in this little box called "life"
and the stuff outside of this world? oh, that, well never mind
for it is of insignificance
money, power, lust and pain that is of importance

but what about me? my life, my choice to choose
how can i survive when i always lose?
i do not want to exist in a world that doesn't care for my existence
and i do not want to be scorned for my driving persistence
to find answers to the questions that i ask
the questions that tend to make people mad

because i refuse to live a simple and shallow life
but a life with meaning and dreams and hope...
one i chose over the "real" world a long time ago
i do not want to follow these rules
where i say "i don't know, society tell me what i should do"

because in this life, things will change
and it's funny how it happens in a single moment
and it's funny how so many things do not mtter
the people who've hurt me, old friends and lovers
and i question: will they ever?
life is full of trivial words, people, and such
most of it will vanish and not mean very much

and the weight will fade and the scars will heal
then we can face the day and see what is real
because besides this face, this skin, these lips and eyes
my body and the well-rounded thighs
there is more to this being
and there is more to being

but how can we know when are souls are bleeding?

how can we see when we are frightened
by the choice to choose
and we give up what we want and soon after lose
how can we breathe
when the world is stifling?
how can we be
when we aren't existing?

okay, real job, grand house, nice car, and bills
but there's a space in my soul that yearns to be filled
there's a hole in my soul that needs to be filled
there's a space in my heart that has to be...
that needs to be...filled

because

it's so funny how life changes
and how things work out in a single moment
and it's funny how so many things do not matter
and i question: will they ever?
life is full of trivial words, people, and such
most of it will vanish and not mean very much

some days will hurt and some scars are deep
but it's nothing to keep us off our feet
so when the money is gone, the pain, the power
what will be left? a withering flower?
or will there be, in the sunshine so sweet
a perfect rainbow waiting for me?

in this life things will change
in this life
things work out in a single moment
in this life
so many things do not matter
and i question: will they ever?

this life
is full of trivial words, people, and such
in this life
most of it will vanish and not mean very much
except of course
what you did in this life when coming to shore.

11-24-2008

*I wrote this poem off the top of my head honestly, I really cannot explain the thought process behind it because the inspiration came to me instantly. Basically, it is my thoughts on my life and how I see the world. Lately I have been feeling as though I have let things almost control me, my thoughts and moods---whether it is people, circumstances, etc. And, it hit me a couple of days ago how funny it all is because eventually the drama and things that seem to matter, don't.

It's still a little funny to me, I guess because once we die...none of "this" will really make a difference, except how we lived. So, once I came to that conclusion I continued my lifelong search so far in trying to figure out what is the best way for me to live my life and what my purpose is. I have found that the best way is to just be myself and never apologize for it, and slowly I know I will come to terms on how to make a difference and learn what my role in this world is to be.

Hope whoever reads likes the poem. Comments are always welcome.*